11.09.09
My Greatest Inspiration ever…
I ‘ve worked on this piece most of the afternoon with the help of Magnetic Poetry. Oh my goodness, it gave me quite an uuuummmpphhh to my creative energy. LOL. anyways, if you know me by now, you should know that my inspirational high is because of God and how he has guided me through the daily thunderstorms of living with NF ,my family and friends who have always inspired my life in so many ways. Their love and support is so indescribable, I would not and could not BE ME without them in my life.
With that being said, I call this piece, “FLY”.
Someday
I’d like to fly away through this
black & blue storm
without waking up
in tears;
this ugliness I feel beneath my skin
still haunts me
in my dreams or am I sleeping in death?
A true beauty I see in my reflection.
Only God knows me
as I am
kind-hearted, strong and
LOVED. ♥
by Antoinette D Ramis 11/8/09 ©
11.08.09
Open Mic Night in Cerritos
Remember about a month ago or so, I was asked to read one of my poems at my first open mic night? Well. my friend has planned another Open Mic Night in Cerritos. I’m actually excited to read another poem. {::NOTE::the Music and Art Showcase coming soon in 2010; but this Open Mic Night will definately be an amazing night of talents too. 
}.
Hopefully, my greatest fans will be there for me and give me the boost of encouragement, not to mention, confidence I need to calm my nerves down. Yeah. I know. I’ve been through it before, but to me, its the first time,everytime I go up on that stage and typically me to be easily excited yet nervous at the same time.
I know you want to know when and its sooner than you think. In fact, its actually in 10 days from now. the only thing that’s going to hold me back is schedules. I know the holidays are up for preparations,etc, I also am aware of school and work, isn’t there another round of mid-terms coming soon? I mean, I already taking a sacrifice to be absent from Wednesday night Bible Study. As soon as I think up a creative artistic way to promote myself via email and facebook. right now. thinking too much is causing a major headache.
anyways, this is one of the answers to my prayers as I am in need of inspiration. my creative energy has been on static and the only thing I’ve been doing as entertainment of my boredom this weekend is tweakin’ up photos of myself and my recent artistic creations via photoshop.com And yes. I posted up 3 pieces. Go ahead and peep it out in my art gallery.
and lastly, who shall be the lucky ducky 300th comment? hmmm..I guess I will soon find out within 48 hrs. from now.
oh btw, DAIRYLAND ART GALLERY welcomes “the BEST OF ME’ Poetry Collection *Special Edition*. to the exhibit. once again. if you have the time, go and peep it out. my greatest stuff ever written. Enjoy!
11.07.09
just for fun.. ::part 2::
ahahahaha.*LMAO* this is soooooooooooo hilarious. faces of me from the 50’s-present time.
don’t be shy, you can do it yourself and go to http://www.yearbookyourself.com
If I were the writer
of a TFC teleseryes…I’d call it “My Blue Heaven’…. a story that I keep seeing in my dreams that can only be revealed in written form. Thank God its only my imagination and the influence of hopeless romanticism that can take affect on my creative energy. Ready? set. here we go……
The storyline is plain as it is simple. It starts as a online friendship until it was decided to grow up to lead separate lives. Then one random day, 10 years later, girl meets boy. a newfound labeled as “will they, won’t they couple of the year.” prelude to a love story kind of love story. A pair of “friends who happen to meet at the right place and time; But when feelings become the wedge in a friendship, someone will always be hurt with the words, “we’re ‘Just friends.’” a forbidden dance of a star crossed unrequited love and honesty. a heart to heart conversation that ends up like this….”I love you but…. I’d rather be with someone else? why oh why? fear of rejection? of a broken heart? a risk of a great friendship? “
And just when you thought all is good and cheesy. These two pair of “friends” / “will they, won’t they couple” of the year has to face THE STORM of……*cue thunder and lightening*
their EX-LOVERS. *more thunder and lightening* the plot thickens to one gigantic tidal wave of drama and the “couple” is driven apart by -love,lies,secret affairs, jealousy,revenge,surprise illegitimate children,betrayal,anger,bitterness and resentment with one another.
and now the fun part is YOU have power to CHOOSE YOUR OWN ENDING. Will the “won’t they, will they couple of the year” finally hook it up? a baby will soon be born, the question is, who’s the daddy? there’s someone who’s gonna die and someone who is really an alien in diguise and will take over the world. [hahaha. just a little sci-fi uuummmppphhh to mess with your imagination].
yeah. I know I am not good enough writer/storyteller to make this story into TFC QUALITY, but hey, gotta give me some props for trying,right? even my crazy imagination has to stop at a reality check. LOL. maybe I should transcribe this into a screenplay and send it over to ABS-CBN via multiply.
just in case anyone was wondering why I would call it, “My Blue Heaven” is because of the song. in search of it on you tube and will post it up as soon as I can. I really like the song too. it explains sooooooooooooo much.
11.06.09
BREAKOUT
So this hot and cold weather has been the cause of major dryness and constant irritation to my skin to the point where I am scratching and bleeding too. I’m also thinking that my stress levels has been on high taking an affect on my diet and sleeping pattern or lack there of and on top of that, the laundry detergent we’ve been using might add to the irritation which is rare because I never had any issues with it before and besides, I’ve already been grilled as selfish for buying my own laundry detergent. I can’t stand cheap powered laundry detergent and through the years realize of how sensitive it makes my skin. Hmmm..maybe it could also be my body wash too. its time to switch to non scented. you know what I mean?my reason? well. tres duh! I’m the only one in the my family who has to deal with a skin problem as a result of NF. just when you thought my self-esteem was at normal level, in recent events, my insecurity levels have been extremely sensitive. I can’t even look at my own reflection and trying to avoid mirrors at all costs. I feel so grotesque looking that I can’t let myself out in public. I’d rather be home. maybe I should start wearing sunglasses and masks to cover up my face like Michael Jackson.
So this coming fall/winter season, it is time to cover up as much as I can. the only thing I don’t like about it is that my body heat rises up easily too which again, leads to a vicious cycle of irritiation and like I said, too much itching makes me bleed. what I need is non prescription or OTC skin medicine, any recommendations? if not, I am actually, as scary as the thought may sound and taking all risks, considering laser skin surgery,even if I have to fly to the Philippines to do so. ::SIGH::
11.05.09
Reconnecting to Me….
So last night, my mom asked me to her place for her Holy Hour at the Adoration Room. My goodness. God knows me well to know how much I needed 2 hours of quality time with him. But what I needed with me, I have forgotten it at home. My daily prayer book and a pen for journaling. As most of you know, I write my prayers to God like a love letter. Its my special way of communication with him and helps me release everything inside and out of me. Sometime during my meditation and through my tears of letting myself go with the flow of the Holy Spirit, I felt myself singing, “I LOVE YOU LORD” at first, I was shy about singing it out loud in respect of those who are praying and in meditation. But I reminded myself that singing my heart out to God is praying twice. So, without fear and not dwelling of what others think of me, I gave it my all as if was alone. It felt so great to sing the way I did, like I would do in my car or in the shower. Just me, no judgmental or critical eyes rolling at me. And in the moment of time, I realized how beautiful it was to sing in front of the Blessed Sacrament. Even more amazing, the absolute highlight of my night was the 1st reading. >>>>>LOVE. ♥ is all I need to know in every moment of every day of my life.
11.04.09
Ode to Wednesday…
Lately, I’ve been feeling “Empty and Beautiful”. In other words, spiritually disconnected. I keep falling down the cracks, lost my grip and found myself alone and lost in the darkness. Blinded by weaknesses, giving in to temptation and worst of all, found myself in a spirally sinful path. Last night I was choosen as a Prayer Warrior and let my heart out to God. I was teary eyed feeling guilty of my sinful ways, a reminder that every time I choose to be SINful, I nail Jesus on the cross, every drop of his blood is in MY NAME. But God, is a loving and forgiving. He can reach so deep into your soul and look into your eyes,take you into his arms, wipe the tears away and tell you, HE LOVES YOU and everything will be OK. He’ll always be there no matter what. never leaving your side and even if you were the one that drifts away, he always pulls you back. I am so grateful and blessed for every moment of every day of my life because of God. And we all know, without God, our lives would be nothing.
As this video plays, close your eyes and take time to reflect on the words to this song. I know I am not the only one who feels this way. Part of the reason why I am expressing myself here and now. I need as much love and support more than ever, especially with the holidays around the corner. Prayers for a job. somewhere, anywhere. even if its at the mall. I just wish I can be the way I am in person as I can be through a blog. I could need a boost of encouragement ’cause the last thing I don’t want to do..is drift away…
Suddenly, I feel, as if, my soul has been awakened.
